my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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