You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
