Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I died a long time ago.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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