I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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