I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
