if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
