Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
