Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
