I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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