Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry about my life...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
