Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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