And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
