Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
