I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
