she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
