party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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