That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
