i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
