My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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