I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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