It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
