bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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