Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i now understand why vodka
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
