when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
