Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
