I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
