You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
