So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
