This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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