she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i think i just lost a toe
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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