Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
