Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
