Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
