I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
