I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
