Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just had sex bonerless
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
