What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
