I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
