Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
