I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
