Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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