You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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