do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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