The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
