i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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