There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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