you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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