My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
