google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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