so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
