Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
